Thinking more than writing

That's what I've been doing lately, thinking more than writing. My 'normal' job gave up on me - it couldn't cope with my demands to sleep in the middle of the day and burst into tears intermittently. Pretty pathetic of it really. So, because I refuse to believe I'm not ill enough to sign on, I started doing some freelance writing work. Perfect! or so I thought...

The idea of working around my sleeplessness was a good one. I could work in the middle of the night if I was awake, and catch up on sleep during the day when the writing was done. Unfortunately it didn't really work like that. I still feel the need to conform to a 'regular' sleep pattern even though it's no longer necessary, and I don't want it to be necessary. I still go to bed at a semi-normal time but I lie awake, becoming stressed about the fact I could be doing something else. I usually fall asleep at around 2 or 3 am until about 6. Then during the morning I could sleep for Britain if I let myself. The problem is if I do let myself sleep more in the morning I become angry with myself and I'm not motivated to work when I get up at around midday. If I don't let myself sleep in the morning, I suffer with brain fog for several hours and I don't do any work. Basically the mornings are OUT when it comes to writing.

I'm not sure what the answer is. I want to work 6 or 7 good work hours most days, but whichever tactic I use, it doesn't seem to work. Maybe I just need to be more patient and this is all part of my depression working itself out. The writing work is good for that; it gives me something to focus on, but I still spend more time thinking and staring at the screen than I do actually writing.

A few people have asked me where I get my writing work from, most of it is from www.elance.com If you want to try them out, please use the badge below as they have a referral scheme, and every little helps!